That Chocolate High

I feel stuffed and utterly fat after scoffing 400g of Cadbury Fruit & Nut within the past hour, but also happily satisfied and content with my brain buzzing! I keep telling myself that I'll get up and do some form of exercise to burn it all off... but I'm still on that chocolate high.

Two months and a bit now till i start med school and all the headachy stuff like loans and accommodation applications forms are all kinda sorted, although i did have problems getting a student account with Halifax. I've never been in debt with banks or overdrawn... i like my statements to be printed in black ink, and yet i get refused a student account due to credit rating... HELLO, i want a current account not a silly credit card, besides I am a student... what do they expect lol!

I'm getting to that state where work is becoming frighteningly comfortable. I suppose I'm getting into a routine and ... well, accepting work as apart of life, just as iv accepted the two grey hairs i found on my head the other day. But the fact that i found another one today, probably shows i haven't truly comes to terms with it, since the stress and horror of finding the first few probably caused the latest culprit.

Whose Who Of Who

I'm back, yip, although in my absence from the on-line world nothing much has really happened expect that now its only 3 months and a bit till i start med school and return to sanity!!

I gave up on the whole gym thingy, it proved too expensive for my taste although i still believe that no one should have a premature death due to excess laziness. Hence, i've invested in a few pieces of Tesco Value fitness equipment, I'm still a good boy see! Although with nothing challenging to stimulate my mind besides understanding the work gossip, whose sleeping with who, whose having whose baby, whose the father, not to mention who said what about me behind my back and remembering to be extra spiteful to them next time i meet them. I honestly believe work is a real bad influence! For example, i now watch Eastenders, Corrie and worse Emmerdale!! And I'm acting like everyone else at work, talking about them as though they're actually 'REALLY' happening, and not just some crap an TV! My usually calm tone has slowly turned into a harsh bark and my patience has dwindled into nothingness! The only thing which hasn't changed is the amount of chocolate i eat, but i never expected that to change much anyway!

I'm turning into a monster, I just hope i return to my usual self once i start university again, otherwise I'll be scaring away my first patient even before i meet them, just through my reputation!

Junk Food & Six Packs

I find that when i have nothing better to do i tend to eat. Whats really aggravating is opening the fridge door to find that there's literally nothing that is edible or within it best-before date. Of course if I've got nothing better to do, you'd think id go shopping, but no, i don't think this way. Also, after leaving uni, I've really stopped cooking... well i never really started cooking when i was at uni, but that doesn't matter now. What matters is that I'm eating more junk food than ever before, and NO, chocolate or ice-cream is not classed as junk, and who ever says otherwise is Blasphemous!

So, to stop my 147 pounds and size 30 waist turning rapidly into 170 and 38, I've 'decided' to join the local gym. Aren't i good!? Well i will be when i actually join. Currently I'm envisioning wash-board abs with my pectoralis major muscles clearly defined and biceps/triceps well toned. Oh and don't forget the butt and legs. OK, yes all the above will never happen, but I've got to aim high! I've also 'decided' to go swimming as well. Maybe 'go' is the wrong word, i think 'learn' is better. My last swimming experience left me nearly dead, with two lungs full of chlorine tasting water... even though i could stand up on my toes in the deep end. I'm also going to invest in some goggles, not the ones you have to spit in, the other type. That way may contact lenses won't slip out of my eyes and render me blind, clever huh! When it happens I'll post a picture of my six-pack... umm don't expect it anytime this decade... but it will happen... .

Tangles Of Life

If I could sum up my life in a single picture it would have to be this one, a big fat tangle:

Like when your headphones are all tangled up. How do they get that way, when you leave them all nice and straight. It's as though they come to life whilst you're sleeping or away and decide to play 'hide-en-seek'. Except there's nowhere for them to hide since they're attached to each other. So they just end up getting into a mess and later cause a great deal of frustration when you find them!

And when you finally straighten yourself out, you wonder about the meaning of life, was it worth getting all those tangles straightened out??:

And sometimes... well you just got to search for it else where:

... and wish for the best...

And maybe, just maybe, things start happening. The jigsaw puzzle of your life starts falling into place, and you know gleefully that your pet dog called Snowy hasn't swallowed a piece! Finally you can see the whole picture, and you think to yourself that at last your dreams can actually come true:

But life isn't as simple as that. One too many sugar-rushes to the head start to make you curious. Questions about your kingdom full of chocolate and worst, your life:

... and then bad things start to happen. You start to resent those around you, especially all those annoying silly people with their fake smiles:

... thus, you come to the conclusion that if you were content with what you previously had before, your life wouldn't be in a big tangle once again, and you therefore wouldn't be forced to live with all the crazy people of the world... except there's no one left. Your only friends are the tablets you stumble upon, which help make you lucid, and your final thoughts are that at least you didn't succumb to Alzheimer's:

(Pictures produced by Edward Monkton)

... is there such a thing as destiny??... I'm still searching for my jigsaw pieces.